The Guy Next Door
by LeiZ
Summary: Kazuya has to spend the next two weeks living with his new neighbour. Rated due to bad language.(Kazuya,Lei)
1. The Bad Beginning

**A/N: **This is something that I came up with while I was in school two days ago. My first attempt in a humour fic. Funny how much you can come up with while being with your friends?

(Idon't like the way is deleting lots of symbols. I'm sorry if this bothers you.)

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**The Boy Next Door**

_Chapter I: The Bad Beginning_

_There will always be a time in your entire life where you encounter difficulties and hardships, whether it be your friends, family members, or strangers. In this case, it's that stupid-ass Chinese dude next door who just happens to be staying with you for the next two weeks._

**Mishima Residence**

In the living room, we see a 19-year-old Kazuya arguing with his father, Heihachi. Can you just feel the love?

**Kazuya:** There is no way that guy is sleeping in my room!!

**Heihachi:** I've discussed this with you already, boy! Wulong is a guest in out house and you will treat him with the same respect as you have treated me! I will not have you humiliate me infront of his parents!

**Kazuya:** Phshaw. Since when did I ever respect you?

**Heihachi:** Why you!! --;; I will say this once and only once: Wulong will sleep on your bed and I don't care if you sleep on the couch, attic, or hell, you can even sleep on the roof for all I care!!

**Kazuya:** _in a whiny voice_You've always treated me like a dog!! Child abuse!!

Kazuya is smacked upside the head.

**Heihachi:** Brat! Have you not notice how much I've spoiled you all these years? Cars, women, money...Why can't you be an obedient son just this once?

Shaking his head in disappointment, Heihachi leaves. Kazuya blows an angry raspberry to Heihachi's back.

**Kazuya:**_yawn_ No use sulking about this now. I'm tired.

He goes to his bedroom upstairs. On the bed, he sees Lei getting all too comfortable.

**Lei:** Hey.

**Kazuya:** Shut the hell up.

**Heihachi:** _from outside_ What was that?!

**Kazuya:** Nothing

Lei chuckles. Kazuya glares at him.

**Lei:** Have you decided where to sleep?

**Kazuya:** Yeah, I'm -

Rethinks for a moment. If he were to sleep outside, as he had intended, his room would be wide open for Lei to screw around. That's not good.

**Kazuya:** - sleeping here.

**Lei:** Really? We're not supposed to sleep on the same bed...

**Kazuya:** Idiot. I didn't say that. I'm sleeping on the floor.

He took out a pillow from the cabinet and a blanket from one of the drawers. He straightened out the expensive fur rug before laying down on it, pulling the blanket up to his chin.

**Kazuya:** And you better not snore.

**Lei:** _snoring_

**Kazuya:** Great.

In attempts to block the unbearable, sound-surround noise, Kazuya buries his head under his pillow, wishing for the sandman to come sooner.

**The Next Morning...**

Kazuya opened his eyes, the bright sunlight creeping between the curtains. He looked down and saw Lei sprawled on top of him. Startled, he pushed him to the side.

**Kazuya:** What the hell is going on here?!!

**Lei:** _muttering_ What do you mean?

The Chinese glanced at the bed, which was beside Kazuya.

**Lei:** _chuckling_ I always fall whenever I sleep on someone else's bed.

**Kazuya:** Whatever. Just get your ass off the floor and - _starting to make spitting noises_ - the hell is this?!

He removed from his mouth what seemed to be a long strand of hair.

**Kazuya:** Yuck!

**Lei:** That's not mine.

**Kazuya:** You disgust me!

Kazuya walks out the door, still annoyed. After taking a shower and changing into his clothes, Lei followed suit. He went downstairs to the dining room where breakfast was served. The breakfast was very traditional Japanese: steaming-hot white rice, miso soup, seaweed, and tea.

**Lei:** Wow! This looks delicious! I've never had this kind of breakfast before! _takes a seat across from Kazuya, who was already eating_

**Kazuya:** _muttering to himself_ Or maybe you've never had breakfast before...

Kazuya's parents come in.

**Heihachi:** Good morning, kids. Did you sleep well, Lei? Or did Kazuya bother you again?

**Kazuya:** _rolls eyes_

**Lei:** Nah. Everything's fine.

**Kazuya's Mom:** That's good to hear. I'm glad you two are going along nicely.

For the next 10-20 minutes, Kazuya's parents listened to Lei's stories about himself while Kazuya randomly made faces and frowning to himself.

**Heihachi:** Ah, wonderful breakfast it was. Now I will assign both of you to do a small chore.

**Kazuya:** No! I object! We have servants to do those kind of dirty work! I won't do it!

_Smack_

**Heihachi:** You're doing it and that's final! It's about time I started disciplining you! Lei, will you help him?

**Lei:** Yes, of course. It's a simple task.

**Heihachi:** I knew you would! Now here's what you do...


	2. Car Wash

**A/N: **A very short chapter.

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**The Guy Next Door**

_(Car Wash)_

**Garage (outside)**

Kazuya is washing their limousine while Lei stands nearby, obviously doing nothing.

**Kazuya:** Exactly when are you going to help me?

**Lei:** I am helping you.

**Kazuya:** The only thing you did was rolled up your jeans to knees and stood there with the hose.

**Lei: **I'm supervising you.

**Kazuya:** Some help you are.

Both boys continued what they were doing. In Lei's case, he was just standing there.

**Lei:** You missed a spot.

**Kazuya:** Justshutup.

**Lei:** Hey, I'm supervising, remember?

**Kazuya:** I don't need you supervising me! I want you to grab a washcloth and help me wash this damn car!

**Lei:** I can't! I just took a shower! I don't want to get dirty again! Besides, I'm not the one who needs disciplining.

**Kazuya:** Fine. You do the waxing then.

**Lei:** Hmm..._thoughtfully_ I'll hold the canister for you.

**Kazuya:** You're lazier than me!

**Lei:** I'm not being lazy! I'm being reasonable, okay.

At this point, Kazuya gritted his teeth with anger. Still, he did his best in containing it and continued scrubbing.

**Kazuya:** Hose!

Taking his cue, Lei turned on the hose. Strangely, only a few drips of water came out of it.

**Lei:** I think it's broken.

**Kazuya:** Let me see...

He crouched in front of Lei, examining the supposedly broken hose. Two elderly women, who just happened to walk past them, gave them weird looks.

**Kazuya:** Did you fully open the valve in the yard?

**Lei:** Yeah. I double-checked.

**Kazuya:** Alright, move aside –

The moment Lei moved, a huge jet stream of water hit Kazuya right in the face!

**Lei:** Hey, it worked again!

**Kazuya:** _still in shock, trying to gather back his thoughts_ You moron!! You were stepping on the hose the whole time!!

**Lei: **I didn't do it on purpose!

**Kazuya:** Give me that! _grabs the hose from Lei_

**Lei:** No, no, no, I promise I won't do it again. _grabs the hose back_

**Kazuya:** You better not...

Lei proceeds to rinse the soapy area of the car. Coincidentally, a young Japanese girl walked by them.

**Girl:**Konnichi wa!

Lei swiftly turned to wave at the girl. Unknowingly, the hose, which was still on full blast, was pointed at Kazuya, drenching him completely. The girl giggled and walked away.

**Kazuya:** _his face turning red_ Aaaaarrrggghh!!!!

**Lei:** Oops, my bad.

**Kazuya:** I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!!

**Lei:** Uh..._changing the subject_ You still missed the same spot...

**Kazuya:** _twitching_ Oh really?

He grabbed the bucket of dirty water and shoved it on Lei's head, drenching him as well.

**Kazuya:** This time I got it!

Lei struggled to remove the bucket from his head. It was stuck alright. He couldn't even see that he was approaching the pool closer and closer. Kazuya, who was right behind him, wasted no opportunity and pushed Lei to the pool.

**Kazuya:** I guess that wraps up our show, folks.

Bursting into laughter, Kazuya went back to the car and began his waxing, without Lei, of course.


	3. Payback's a Bitch

**A/N: **A longer chapter.

**The Guy Next Door**

_("Payback's a bitch")_

**9:00 Mishima Residence, an hour later...**

Kazuya finished his chore and was on his way back inside the house when he saw his father. He looked like he was searching for something...

**Heihachi:** _calling Kazuya_ Boy! Have you seen Lei!

**Kazuya:** _lying_ No. And I finished washing the car.

**Heihachi:** Alone? Wasn't Lei supposed to help you?

**Kazuya: **Er-_thinking that Lei might tell on him, it would probably be a wise thing to tell his dad that Lei did help_ he did but then after awhile, he had to go somewhere.

**Heihachi:** Funny. The last time I saw him he was wading about in the pool.

**Kazuya:** _trying to keep himself from laughing_ Maybe he went for a morning swim.

**Heihachi:** _suspicious_ With a bucket on his head and his clothes on?

**Kazuya:** Well, you know how the guy is. He has a quirky sense of humor. Go figure.

His dad looks at him, baffled.

**Kazuya:** _uneasy_ I'll be going now...

**Heihachi:** Wait! I need you to do a little errand for me.

**Kazuya:** Naw! I just finished washing the car and now you're giving me more chores!

**Heihachi:** I was going to ask Lei to do it but since I can't find him, you'll have to do it yourself.

**Kazuya:** _groaning_ What do you want me to do?

**Heihachi:** Do a little grocery shopping. Here's a short list of items so your feeble mind won't forget.

**Kazuya:** _disregarding Heihachi's comment_ This is a short list! There are at least 20 items here!

**Heihachi:** Quit complainin'. And take the bus. I don't want you to mess up the limo.

Kazuya unwillingly agreed and made his way out across the yard. Meanwhile, back inside the house, Lei is rummaging through Kazuya's clothes in his closet. Heihachi passes by Kazuya's room and sees Lei.

**Heihachi:** _puzzled_ What are you doing?

**Lei:** Um, nothing. I was just, uh, fixing Kazuya's stuff, that's all.

**Heihachi:** Oh, well, that's very nice of you. But just be careful not to damage his suit. He tends to go mad if 'anyone messes with it'.

**Lei:** What suit?

**Heihachi: **It's purple. I think it's in that closet over there _points to the closet across the room_.

**Lei:** Not to worry. I'll make sure nothing happens to it.

When all is said, Kazuya's father leaves. Lei continued what he was doing, which was trying on Kazuya's expensive outfits.

**Lei:**...What suit was he talking about again?

Kazuya finally arrives from his little trip to the grocery. He gets off the bus with a huge paper bag full of goods. Just as he reached the front yard, Lei sticks his head out the window from Kazuya's room and spots him.

**Lei:** _in a sing-song voice_ Kazuya! Where do you want me to put your laundry? _holding an armful of clothes_

**Kazuya:** _sees Lei wearing his precious suit_ Why you—take off my suit damnit!

**Lei:** _ignores what he said_ Where do you want me to put them?

**Kazuya:** Takethemoff!

**Lei:** Where?

**Kazuya:** Grr...ANYWHERE!

**Lei:** O-kay!

Immediately, Lei threw Kazuya's newly-washed clothes out the window. Some got stuck up the tree near the window. Kazuya's jaw drops to the ground in shock.

**Lei: **Is that good?

**Kazuya: **You useless piece of!

**Lei: **Hurry up with the groceries, Kazuya! _laughs before shutting the window_

**Kazuya: **_groaning_ Godamnit...

After gathering his clothes and unloading all the groceries, Kazuya went searching for Lei to "deal" with him.

**Kazuya: **There you are!

**Lei: **Aaack! _runs away_

Kazuya chases after Lei to his room. He successfully tackles him onto the bed and the battle ensues...

**10 minutes later...**

Unsurprisingly, Kazuya won. He tied Lei's hands behind his back then took one of his white handkerchiefs and blindfolded him.

**Kazuya:** Payback's a bitch, isn't it, Lei?

**Lei:** Is this the best that you can do?

**Kazuya:** Nope. I'm just getting started.

He then pushed Lei into one of his closets and locks him up.

**Kazuya:** Beg for your life and I'll spare you.

**Lei:** Go screw yourself.

**Kazuya:** How do you like my little game so far, Lei?

**Lei:** You heard what I said.

**Kazuya:** Don't worry. I'll let you out when Dad comes back...around 2 hours after.

**Lei:** Let me out or I'll kick this door open myself!

**Kazuya:** As if you could—

_A loud 'bang' was suddenly heard_

**Kazuya:** —break it open.

**Lei:** Kazuya!

_The phone rings_

**Kazuya:** Later.

_Lei's muffled screams can be heard_

**Kazuya:** _answers the phone_ Hello?

**Bryan:** 'Sup, man? Do you think it's a little early to come over right now? You said 12:00 right?

**Kazuya: **What do you—oh, damn, I almost forgot. Nah, come right over. There's not much going on in here right—

**Lei:** Let me out!

**Kazuya:** —now.

**Bryan:** What was that?

**Kazuya:** Just the TV. So, you coming over right now?

**Bryan:** Yeah, man.

**Kazuya:** Don't forget the beer.

**Bryan:** Got it. _hangs up_

**Lei:** Who was that?

**Kazuya:** Bryan. One of my friends from—WHAT THE HELL! How d'you—

**Lei:** Just so you now, I was already out when I was screaming.

**Kazuya:** You're a lot better than I thought.

**Lei:** Told you.

**Kazuya:** MAYBE I SHOULD TIE YOU UP ON TREE OUTSIDE INSTEAD!

**Lei:** Aaahh!

Lei runs away as Kazuya chased him once again.


End file.
